Feminist. Body Positive.
Please feel free to use my ask box to ask about:. sex, health, sexuality, gender, body issues, relationships, fears, worries, mental illness, and whatever you might need. I will answer every question without judgment - and anon is always on. I am here for you, always.
This is a (mostly) original content multi-fandom blog. - I also take requests, and adore suggestions :)
Fandoms: (in no particular order) Doctor Who, Supernatural, Star Trek, The Whedonverse (Buffy, Angel, Firefly), Battlestar Galactica, Stargate (all), Sherlock, Marvel, Batman, Star Wars, Charmed, Hannibal, LOTR/The Hobbit, The Hunger Games, Harry Potter, The Vampire Chronicles, and last but not least - anything about/to do with/involving Zombies and or Unicorns.
Have you thought about separating your room with a curtain or partition? Even if your relationship with your sister is great - everyone needs privacy and personal space. Even just a curtain around your bed (like a four-poster bed type set up or whatever those beds are called) might help, and it would clearly define your own space. I think having a safe space that’s just yours is integral to mental health - or at least, I’ve found that it is in my own experience. You should definitely give it a try.
As for the depression - it will pass. You’ve fallen into a deep dark hole - and unfortunately the only way out is to climb, I can’t even offer you a hand up. What I can do - however - is climb down and be with you while you’re stuck, so that you know you are not alone. Because you aren’t, alone I mean. I am right here with you.
I’ll try to help - but I have some additional questions. Is your disagreement with your parents religion more recent? Per chance did it coincide with your depression? Other than writing - do you have an outlet? Do you have a close friend you can talk to in person about your depression? etc.
As for advice:
Make room for yourself; do what you want to do, and be who you want to be - and let the chips fall where they may. Find compromises: you may not want to go to church with your family, but maybe having a family game night (scrabble!) or watching a movie together shouldn’t have any religion in it. Just because you have a theological difference doesn’t mean they aren’t still your family - if you can put aside your differences, having them in your support network is always better than not having them. They may not accept your different - which is hard, and it hurts - so you might have to construct boundaries. For instance, in my life - my friends and family know not to discuss religion in my presence. If they want to spend time together - 100% yes. If they want to pray together - 100% no. They can either respect my wishes, and my control over my own life - or they can’t. However, I am lucky enough to be grown up and out f the house - which affords me some measure of control over who I do and do not see, you might not have this.
Either way, make space for yourself. IF you have to spend a lot of time in your room - make your room your sanctuary. Fill it with the things you love. At one of the lowest times in my life - I took a pad of paper and I wrote down every good thing that had ever happened to me, every happy memory - and I drew pictures of all my friends faces. I used tacs and tape and covered an entire wall of my room in them. There was no wall left showing - just tiles of paper, of things that made me happy. I strung white christmas lights. I spent my allowance on like, 20 pillows and piled them so that I could jump into them. I set up a permanent blanket fort in a corner that I could read under. I bought second hand books and read them over and over. I turned the space I was stuck in - into the inside of my mind. MY bedroom was literally my mind palace - because if you have to be stuck in a place, make it the best place ever. My son has a comfort closet - instead of keeping clothes in it - it’s filled with the softest blankets, pillows, scraps of material and stuffed animals we could find. He likes soft things. When he’s stressed, he goes in the closet and shuts the door and just touches everything. I had a similar set-up when I was a kid, inside my laundry hamper.
Most importantly: Find someone to talk to about your depression. Not someone to fix you - just someone to listen. Depression is long, pervasive and hollow: but you can get through it with patience and hope. Have you read all my fish are dead (depression part two - by hyperbole and a half)? I loved it so much, I bought the book. I found that reading about depression, helped me pull through mine. It solidified me in the knowledge that I wasn’t alone. Here’s a link: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/2013/05/depression-part-two.html
The way I got through was to treat my depression like a broken leg. If your leg is broken, you don’t walk on it. You don’t run marathons. You might have to cancel a few dates, and miss a day or two of school. Your leg is broken - there’s not much you can do. So make yourself as comfortable as you can, and wait for it to heal. I promise - it will heal.
Yeah, it always sucks when people do stuff like this - but you never know, he might be having personal issues or being going through things. Generally, people have a reason for everything they do - and those reasons aren’t always obvious. I hope you figure out whats going on, and if not - I hope you don’t stress too much over the situation <3
Of course! I hope everything goes great - and if it doesn’t, feel free to come and vent about it :) I wish you luck!
Hmmm, this ones tricky. Like I said- there’s no way to really know what’s going on without asking him. I think sometimes we over-analyze things as well, and it gets in our own way. My advice would be to either straight out ask him if everything’s okay between you two (maybe find a casual way to ask like ‘Hey - we’re friends, right? I was wondering if you could help me with a personal project. I am trying to map out what parts of my personality appeal most to people! What do you think?’) or you could make more bold attempts to connect, like inviting him to a movie (with a group of friends) or to an event - and if he continuously avoids you and says no - that’s probably his way of signalling that he’s not interested.
From everything I’ve experienced - I’d say the best thing to do is be bold and honest. If he’s not interested - he’s just not interested. Taking a chance (even though it’s super scary) gets you your answer quickly and efficiently - never taking a chance to figure this out will keep you on the fence, uncomfortable, anxious and guessing from now until - well, a long time anyways. You know what I mean?
Okay - to make sure I’ve got the situation read properly, I have some additional questions. I just want to make sure I am giving good advice. How long have you been crushing on this guy? When did he start ignoring you? Was there anything that happened right before he started ignoring you? By ‘friend keeps staring at you’ do you mean him - he’s staring at you? Or a different friend? Is it a stare that seems/feels negative?
Also: Though I might be able to give some help or insight, the best (and sometimes scariest) thing to do is confront the situation directly. No one knows if he’s really avoiding you (or why) - except him, so he’d be the one to ask. Either way, if you give me more details - I might have some insight :)
Like, 4000. But the majority of them were from back when I was a hipster blog in 2012. When I turned this into a fan art blog I already followed at least 2000 people - the vast majority of which were inactive. I really need to go through and do an unfollow spree… but I just feel like a jerk whenever I try. I don’t want to unfollow someone for being inactive - what if they come back? I’d feel bad. Anyways - yeah. I follow way too many blogs xD